There are days that come around every once in a while that will validate everything you are. When the universe will peel back and reveal to you the glowing golden light at its core. When the trees will spray the sky with purples, and reds, yellows and greens from their flailing trunks like bizarre, octopoid elephants, when the skies will burn blue like fire, and your thoughts and wills shall be actualized by a world that often seems not to notice you. You will be complete. You will know that avoiding drugs, alcohol and medication all this time has been a great idea because you can definitively say, “This light comes from me. I put in there all by myself, and I can learn how to do it again and again until the day some wicked trans-dimensional necromancer sticks my soul in a jar and leaves it there for the rest of eternity.”

Today is one of those frabjuous days. I love my terrified, lazy, procrastinating self. Because I am so much more than that, and I know I will bludgeon those parts of me into submission with happy and determined rainbow-thoughts, in time. I am ever so fond of being alive and seeing all the strange and alien sights in this world. I love singing myself breathless in my car. I love my books and all the strangeness out there. I love saying “No” and doing things a little differently, and breaking all the rules that no-one ever made.

And I love that tonight I will whisper goodnight to you, and that will make everything feel okay.

Because this is me. I’m immersed in me, and I forgot how splendid that is, when I let it be. Not those cold, dead parts and mechanical pieces of wraith and void that, while a part of me, I myself can only stand with a certain mute horror. The Six, the glitches, the mélange of the many, many parts. I’ve always known who I am. It is mine to look inward. Grasping them is not so easy.

But today… oh, today…

Everything is so brilliant.