Beyond Everything

Mine is a homecoming. So many worlds. So very many worlds I feel like collapsing before my voyage is done. But sleep does not exist in the real world. Nor does death for one who clings on to life.

A ladder extends vertically into the air. At the base of the ladder are gray waters, and death. Every rung on the ladder is a world. I stand on the Seventh, and I wish to descend. I wish to fall asleep. Just for a little while.

I put one leg down. My toes touch the Sixth rung. All my weight is still resting on the Seventh.

Which ladder am I climbing, I wonder? Volianor’s? Some other archon retched from the void?

I can feel my legs tingling. I can feel the Sixth World run through me. It is so clear in my mind, sometimes I forget which rung I’m on.

I so badly wish for sleep. For descent.

But then all of a sudden I find the soul of the Seventh rung, and I am unsure what to do. I feel so at peace with Six I long to leave Seven, but now I love Seven, too. I am caught between two worlds, and I don’t know where to go – down, or up.

There is time for all of it, my heart tells me. Six, Seven, and every divisible of the two. If the time is not right now, it will be in a billion years, so hush, and live this one out. Enjoy Seven. Become Six. Become Five, Four, Three, Two, One, Eternity.

Become One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven. Find it again.

I’m scared. It’s such a large Totality and I’m afraid to lose you in it.

Your heart will lead you back. Anywhere But Here, remember?

Somewhere. I want to be somewhere.

That too is allowed.